Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Drenched Soul..!!


4th February 2011,
11:45 p.m.
Nagpur.

My body felt ached.... I did not have any idea about the next few moments.... How my life would change within fractions... Tick.. Tick... Round...Round.... Earth moved around sun with its own pace.... I knew... Everything was on its place... On their own way..... What was appealing at this moment for me was:: My tender future.!! I sighed for my existence.... Why only me?? I was not feeling proud of my own self.... I knew it :: I had always been different... I am... But what have brought this to me?? This Silent wither... I could not please human beings with the mystic smell like that of rose.... I was not big enough to be able to serve them as a eating plate... Not even for a mere decoration.... I looked around... All were normal... As they had been... In their usual way... Why they are so satisfied?? Ahh... They are happy.... Whats so amusing for them?? They are feeling so good being at what place they are.... They don't want to upgrade themselves... I never heard them discussing such topics... And when I did... They called me crazy..!! Am I?? I created doubt on myself again... Why so?? Why am I being unable to understand my own self??? Why am I behaving out of my wits??? I felt helpless... Some vapors came out of my pores.... I shivered with coldness as wind interrupted my fearful mental exertion... "Do you want to meet her??" I smiled.... More like my eternal win less like it was exciting for me.... I always wanted to smell her... Be in her warmth.... I never liked myself being swept away here and there...  Sometimes because of this filthy wind... And sometimes because of flying creatures... Sometimes because of some naughty animals... But never because of her presence... She never interrupted me.... She was nourishing me even before my mere connection to my parents... I used to look at her... In morning... In afternoon.... In night.... She always looked beautiful no matter how many times she was spoiled and disgraced... She always maintained and made herself ready to serve others... People complained about her rude behavior sometimes... Her fire in her inner core... Which when exploded :: Destroyed everything  that  came in its way until she was calmed down... They all seemed worthless things for me... All I concerned about was :: Her secret..!! Which she never let out... Instead grounded them deep down in form of precious metals and other unknown compositions... I wondered about her formula... Who made her?? She is full of colors... Vibes... Smell... She have every sense in herself... And yet unrevealing in nature.... I knew... Somethings are unexplainable...[She had said: some things can never be understood, somethings are above understanding and something are meant never to be understood..!!] I felt connected to her... She encouraged me... To live beyond the limits of illusion.... To dance with the natural rhythm of mine... To sing my heart out... To flow with aroma of my uplift... I went... I had found the true meaning of life... I was not a common one anymore... I stood apart...  A unique sense of sweet dizziness with lots of happy swirls around her ecstatic world touched me... My thoughts.. My plans... My mornings... Everything was captured by her magnetic vibes... Which I could only feel... People called me... Crazy... Again.. yeah... They ought to.. They are just jealous of me... Unlucky common people... I smiled with pride... This is just a first step... They can never have such a feeling... Such a divine connection... Such a super-natural experience... Soon.. They will start spoiling her... Or at worst... Will try to apart us... Poor they... They can never understand on what ground I was connected to her... It happened... As I had thought... This is a natural procedure... When something is produced... It has to degrade.... I was produced with what speed... Was supposed to degrade with the same speed... Every process have same period of reverse theory... I stated myself different not because I was feeling something different with her... Maybe... Someone else has felt same for her... But because of reason... That no one ever was able to understand the ground affinity of her existence... Which I had possessed since beginning... People used to get surprised... But for me... It was like I had been with her warmth since a long decade... I was never separate... People called this as my imagination.... They felt pity for me... As they stated that I was living in fantasies... If I am/was living in fantasy... Then what is the reality?? According to them... Reality is brutal... Its bitter in taste... Ohh... For grace of almighty.... Everything is composed of two taste... What so harmful in going through darkness when I will be bestowed with the divine light..??? Those people... They never want to take courage for the adventures of life... For them... She is a material... Out of which, they can fulfill their needs.... For me... She is almighty... Out of which, I can find myself... The Real me.... Thoughts, Thoughts, and Thoughts.... All the time... I had been thinking in her defense... In her praise... In her admiration.... In her devotion.... I was swinging in magical world of exploration... Capturing the beauty around me.... I could feel my pores more sensitive.... My skin more refreshing than ever.... My veins more active than ever... I could actually feel the fluid surpassing through my body which she sent indirectly... What a great motherhood..!! I felt more fulfilled than ever.... I was awakening from a long sleep since I started to think over my connection with her... Felt like a Re-birth..!! When I was child, I was tender... I learned to be strong by seeing others around me.... She was there at that time as well... But at that I was not conscious of her presence... Maybe that was not proper time as I was in growth process... She waited for my maturity.... Then, One day I was surprised to look at her and got reconnected with more subtle ways.... World was changing... Her appearance was changing... What was constant and yet stimulating factor... Was :: Her graceful disposition.... Her appealing silence.... I looked down at her while continuing with my thoughtful journey... She whispered to me... " What are you thinking of??" Ohh... How can I answer you??? Can't you see me perplexed?? I know... You can not... But you can understand my situation.... I am ready... I am preparing fast.... Ready for the eternal event... Ready to break these all bondages between us... Can't you see my eagerness?? Fluid seemed to be cold.... It was flowing with lesser speed.... My body was also getting prepared... "Nothing..!!" I replied... What else I could say to her?? She knew my answer... She smiled with her most poised and effortless grin.... I knew her reaction... Every time... She does that... As if it doesn't bother her even if i don't  utter the word -Nothing... Such a assurance of my next step.... What a height of grounded authority..!! I felt relaxed.... More relaxed... No more argumentation I need to do in this remaining span of my life.... I was preparing myself to bow down for her.... To meet her.... I was going through all the formalities.... No more fluid.... It had stopped flowing.... I cut-off the indirect connection with her... Now, it was time to get direct.... I had lived my life... Now, it was time for unison... I was excited for the devotion I was going to experience... I did not how it was going to be... I was leaving my society now.... Crack... One stroke of skin separation.... I bowed down.... Crack.... Another separation.... Some fluid come out.... I felt exhausted... Blind for the event... I took another courage... Crack... I was free.... Some fluid followed my way... I was flowing down for her.... Separated from my branch... Any neighbor... Any parental authority.... Any kin or any buddy next to me....  Nothing did matter for me... All I knew the light-weighted body of mine flowing down for her.... I danced with the cool breeze of beautiful morning.... Dews were preparing themselves... Birds were singing.... Sun was trying to peep.... What an enchanting moment..!! With a gentle touch.... I met her.... She looked worried... As if inquiring about my well-being.... I was pleased to meet her.... My pain was not important for me... Her presence was reasonable enough for any misery to be on the secondary platform of my priorities... She smiled... Less like in a  feminine shy gesture... But more like admiring my step.... She welcomed me with her warmth.... Last drop of fluid had fallen down... State of highly relaxed phase... I don't need any physical connection.... I had met her in reality... My skin to her skin.... Her aroma... Her temperature.... Her smoothness....  I knew... It will be last... I would never be experiencing it again... I worried about future.... How would I be able to create a difference for such a spark of my life-time??? I did not have any idea.... I had met her in the most pious time of early morning.... And at the same time, I was to leave her forever... Or in another words, to leave myself... I wanted to hold on for the moment.... But I knew... I had already ended up the all the indirect connections with her... I regretted... But sooner or later I had to... And it was perfect time.... Everything is interconnected and destined... We smiled....  How beautiful she looked.... Wet with morning dews.... As if she was getting ready for another exploration of her regular routine... "Good-Morning..!!" She whispered slowly... I was getting dizzy... No more energy was left in me... The energetic words were meant as if to say- Good-Bye to me.... I felt thrilled.... For the last time... My pores came up with last drops of sweat.... "Wake-up.. You have to get ready..!!".... She was already prepared... Dews on her skin seemed like most precious pearls shining by the rays of the rising sun of cloudy sky... Time was running.... I looked at her for the last time.... I did not have strength anymore.... To praise her... To defend her... To admire her... Nothing.... Soon... I was going to be part of this divinity.... She smiled at me... To assure me... That... It did not hurt her at all.... But she failed.... For the first time I witnessed her fake expression... I was getting ready for the next phase of my destiny.... For that... I was supposed to come out of my old shell... She had taught me enough things... Now, it was time to set myself free... And wait.. For another discovery.... She encouraged me to leave.... All energy cells of my body had stopped working.... My soul was ready to set free.... Sun had risen up... I could not see her anymore... She was right... Future is always bright.... She was not with me... Not even indirectly.... I regretted again.... But felt more ecstatic when I thought about my new connection with her.... She is there... As a firm ground... I am free... Ready to explore new things... Work out for new chapters.... Create new history... That none is able to.... I felt.... Different again... Now with the sense of :: Independence.... What a clear sky.... Sun smiled at my left physical appearance.... I am new now... Complete... With my own self... I have strength... To nourish others... Now, I can be proud of my powers.... I don't need others to tell me... To direct me.... My mind is fresh.... I am more like a Soul than like a Creature.... My form is different now.... But whatever... I am today... Is because of my last transformation.... I thought how could I state that experience in words.... Wind, thunders, Storms, Heated rays of sun, Cold winter.... Season came.... Season went... My body had turned into skeleton.... One could see clearly through its pores.... It was not green anymore... I felt pity for such a great character of my dramatic phase... Blown by another wind.. And it reached the green grass of nearby park.... I wondered about its destiny....  It touched the green grass of her... What next?? A man was approaching it... I felt threatened... Now its the last time I would be able to see you my lovely dress..!! I closed my eyes because of the fear arisen by brutal future imagined of my helpless skeleton... A click.... Eehh.. What have i just heard?? I opened up my eyes... Macro-set.... What was happening??? It was captured.... Ahh... I laughed for the poor skeleton of mine.... It was humorous for me.... But the capture was going to create another history... Another repetition... I smiled... More in an amusing manner for the play of nature than being felt admired indirectly for my last materialistic form in an electronic appliance... What a hybridization... I knew the future... But... Somewhere... I felt mesmerized... Thinking of my meeting with her... Now it will have a recognition... I did not have any idea how to make it immoral at that time... As everything was in flow of destiny, And hence i had submitted myself for the game of divine forces... And as expected... It happened... Now, I had a proof... More of a mysterious form... And yet an indirect revelation of our most intimate time.... Though... It looks shattered... Dried... Alone... It is exactly opposite of my experience which was :: Composed, Green and In unison with her energetic presence.... But it is capable enough what I had experienced....  I knew it was not easy to explain it through words... That is why I had let my knees down and took no action... But prayed silently... And it worked out.... I had sign.... A sign of my best memory... A symbol of mystic vibes exchanged ever in history.... Its mere reflection is able to reveal every single event occurred to me  right from my birth till my separation and now to my immortal connection with her....
I am left with only thought :::
Whom should I thank for this?? The writer?? The Photographer??? Or the Divinity??


Declaration :: The Article is purely based on super-natural imagination... Taking autobiographical explanation by a leaf as a hypothetical base.... The Snap is used merely for interpretation and does belong to the collection of various other pictures by one of my close friend as a part of his intellectual property...


14th February,
4:45 a.m.
Nagpur.

My Motivators :

Google+ Followers

Gadget

This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.

See My Reflection via Captured Moments of Life: